Camouflage Smile

My smile may look like everything is okay; but, it is only a mask. A mask which hides  pain, disappointment, disillusionment, and loneliness.  What you see  is only a camouflage smile that disguises how I truly feel.

You take a moment to ask me if I’m okay and I answer yes. I really do want to be okay; yet, something inside just doesn’t seem to be able to break free from the pain, disappointment, disillusionment,  or loneliness. Why doesn’t anyone ask me the right question that will shake loose the shackles of this heaviness.

I’ve spent years with this camouflage smile.  It’s worked you think of me as happy one;  I’m exhausted. My body keeps the score and I’m losing. It takes me longer to recovery in my private darkness. I have been able to recovery; although, one day I may not be able recovery. Then what? Please listen not to what I say but to what I don’t say. I want to tell you; help me tell you. Don’t judge me.


Does anybody see the real me hidden behind  my camouflage smile?



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