It’s Going to be OKAY. Really?

I was talking to a friend on the phone. I have recently purchased a home. The home is older then I am and my age is more than you can count on your fingers and toes. I had sent some funds aside for remodeling or much better put upgrading. What I failed to set aside was the mind frame that I had just purchased an old home and with old homes come, well things that need to get fixed. Leave it to friends to remind of your reality. “You purchased an old home.” No, my non-favorite response from my friend is not, “It’s going to be okay.” No kidding! But right now it doesn’t feel okay.

I don’t know about you, those 5 words pierce my heart and invalidate my feeling. Yes, I may be sensitive at that point. That is my right as an individual. I know it is going to be okay. eventually – now is the struggle. The awareness of the now takes versus futuristic thinking. What would it be like if you gave me room to be with my emotions? If I could sit with my stress? If I could sit with my anxiety? If I could just sit with me…..? I could be with my emotion then allow the feeling to flow without minimizing or maximizing the emotion? Your part would be to be my witness.

Emotions are not a bad word nor such a terrible feeling to feel. Perhaps we have spent too much time avoiding emotions and now we have to learn Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is, for those who do not know, is the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. There are books written on EI. I hold counseling sessions for adults and kids who struggle with EI. Think about that for a moment. We as a society have lost the skill of expressing our emotions or being able to read emotions in others which indirectly impacts our level of empathy and compassion. We fluctuate from being mad to being happy and we label each other bipolar.

Four mental and psychological processes are involved in feeling: Arousal, situation, interpretation, followed by behavior. EI demands awareness of how emotions influence our thinking, judgment, and interpersonal behaviors. Our emotions are responses to our arousal states. Self-awareness is key to our authenticity, sense of agency, and impactful relationships.

Next time when life becomes difficult or when we get disturbing news or when stressful situations appear persistent allow yourself compassion. Not, it is not a good situation. Allow yourself the emotion of disappointment or pain. Don’t catastrophize simple notice. If you notice your friend going through a difficult time be there witness. Give them an elbow high five or an empathic expression to let them know they have been heard and that you will be there for the ride. It’s going to be okay; for right now just you may need to cry your tear or eat that chocolate. Take a few deep breathes and rest in the beauty of being human.

Emotional Intelligence Frameworks, Charts, Diagrams & Graphs
Just for fun see how your Emotional Intelligence rates.

Carpe Diem, Gloria

How Stress & Financial Literacy Affect Your Life

Stress related to a financial situation often creates or exacerbates chronic medical conditions like digestive issues, back pain and diabetes. Financial stress can increase rates of smoking, alcohol use, overeating, substance abuse, violence and job loss.

COVID19 has forced us to look at our finances as never before. A new survey from the National Endowment for Financial Education finds that nearly 9 in 10 (88%) Americans say the COVID-19 crisis is causing stress on their personal finances.

The need financial literacy training is every so painfully obvious. With 7 out of 10 American workers stating that their  financial problems are their most common stressors and 39% admitting that before COVID 19 they were spending at least 3 hours a week preoccupied or distracted by their financial issues while at work, where can you turn for help to get accurate, practical no-nonsense advice? What do you suppose those numbers look like now?

If you are lucky, your employer has already incorporated financial literacy into the workplace. Many corporations and employees have been reaping the many benefits, including increased productivity and retention. Financially literate employees tend to have greater focus and less stress, making them more effective. Lower stress levels, i have been linked to lower health care costs and absenteeism. Literate employees also have a much better understanding of their total benefit package. They understand the value of their 401(k) plans, health and disability benefits, tuition and profit-sharing plans etc.  These workers even have an easier time managing within high-deductible health insurance plans or no company insurance plan. Financial literacy carries through to employees’ everyday jobs, as well, in terms of increased business savvy and loyalty.  During COVID, these employees, although stressed, are in a good position to whether the storm.

Other employees have not been so lucky, they feel defeated, lost, and confused. There are others who have an idea of what to do but just don’t have the time to be an expert at money and do life!  

There are a multitude of resources to help you get started…but don’t get overwhelmed; it may feel like almost too much information.  Be careful not to drown in a sea of information and float from advisor to advisor seeking the latest and greatest shiny thing or get out of jail free card.

Of course, you are the exception, but realistically, many never start.  Over 70% of American say they don’t even have a budget because they claim its too hard to do. If you are ready to find the time to develop the expertise to navigate the waters, here are a few places to get started.  

Although financial literacy cannot predict the end of the COVID crisis or predict when life will get back to normal, it will play a pivotal role in your economic recovery.  Don’t know where to start?  You may want to work with a financial coach. Harmoney Financial Literacy has helped people just like you to build and structure budgets, build financial plans and will hold you accountable throughout the process. We have found that often, clients have deep-seated emotions around money. At Harmoney we have partnered with Salus Vita, LLC to help people identify, understand and work through those emotions.  

For many, working with both a financial coach and a mental health clinician, provides a holistic approach which has resulted in an more efficient, effective, timely increase in overall profitability.  Connect with us at Harmoney Financial Literacy to start your journey to being financial literate or reach us on WhatsApp 808.218.5282 to set an appointment.

Would you rather be managed by your stress or manage your stress?


Grisel Saez,Harmoney Financial Literacy 

“Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant.” …