The feeling of another COVID-19 day, with the news report of who is or who is not wearing a mask. Statistical unemployment reports and reports of how many people globally have contracted the virus along with deaths contributed to the virus. There is not a day that goes by that we don’t hear the word COVID-19. To top that off we are having to be parents 24/7 and be teachers at that.
Wait, let’s think about that. When we decided to go through with the pregnancy, gave birth and brought them home it became official. We were parents. I have children. All of which I homeschooled. No they did not wear matching outfits, I did not sew their clothes and we did not churn our butter. We were a military family and to promote continuity of education they were home schooled. Two of them were home schooled through high school while the other kids were home schooled into their high school careers.
Does homeschooling award me a badge of honor? No. Does it make me an expert on parenting. No. There is not a single person who is an expert. Our kids are individuals with no particular prototype. What homeschooling afforded me was an opportunity to get to know my kids learning styles, help them develop within their learning styles and give me chance to reparent myself.
Reparenting is giving yourself what you didn’t receive in your childhood. When an adult recognizes certain personality traits that are a result of faulty treatment in their childhood reparenting becomes a tool to makes requisite changes in the affected personality trait. In a healthy environment our caregivers were actualized people who allowed their children to develop uniquely as kids. Perhaps your parents were like so many others who were not self actualized and parented out of unhealthy models. My parents were both alcoholics and their was abuse in the home. My childhood memories are lost in the dep recesses of my unconsciousness. My parenting models came from watching the Brady Bunch. They were the only intact family I saw. There was my Three sons, but the mom was dead. Their was the Andy Griffith Show but that mom was not around. Their was the Partridge family. There was no dad. Good Times came a bit later. There was a mom and day and of course Dynomite!
What does reparenting and teaching our kids at home during the crisis have to do with one another? Well, being “stuck” with each other for prolonged periods of times tends to expose the true nature of self The true nature of self is rooted within the ego part of self. When you child starts to get on your nerves is it really about them or what part of self is being challenged.? What is the child doing that is awakening that part of self that doesn’t want to be bothered? How weren’t you tolerated as a child that now is being counter transferred onto your own child?
WE have been given a gift. Many of us have the challenge of working and being with our kids at home; yet, it is a gift of time which you can never gain back. Take the time to reparent yourself as you parent your child. Allow your child to make and process mistakes. Model how to delay gratification, work. Model how to achieve goals and do as a person with integrity. Model self compassion. Model and practice emotional intelligence by giving words to your own emotions and noticing where you feel them in your body. Model for your kids the ability to view yourself objectively from the perspective of others. Self reflect by examining situations without judgment. And practice and model the ability to be and be present. This isn’t an easy task. Parenting is not easy; however, it is an amazing call on your life. To be able to shape and cultivate a life that will be contributing citizens and overall good people.
We need more of those types of people. Let is start with your reparenting. Maybe this time isn’t so much about teaching kids academics. Perhaps it is about sizing the moment and allowing for curiosity to arise and experience your best life so that your family can experience their best lives yet.
Don’t hesitate to reach out for more help on how to reparent or how to parent during this time of crisis. You can do this with or without the Village.
Carpe Diem, Gloria