Tag: Empathy

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Gratitude transformed into Salus Vita (My Best Life)

Gratitude. Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Gratitude is not simply an attitude; it is something that flows out of you from you. An attitude is a way of feeling or acting toward a person, thing, or situation. We can surmise that Gratitude has its roots in attitude; however, is cultivated by a feeling. This is where it gets tricky because feelings can lie to you and often do.

Feelings are an emotional state or reaction based on your subjective experiences. Our feelings don’t have to lie to us they are just doing their job. Our feelings are trying to protect us and are based on our previous experiences within the world we behold. Many things may produce a feeling response such as being in the moment, triggers from the past, worrying about the future, fantasies, not allowing ourselves to feel happy because we feel undeserving, paranoia, unresolved grief and pain, traumatic experiences, and the list goes on. There is no end to the amount of feeling (both positive and negative) that flows through our lives on a daily basis. How we can express gratitude in such a fallen world where feeling so often gets highjacked?

Slowing down the process. Don’t push away the negative feeling away simply notice the feeling without judgment. Shift into an attitude of gratitude then allow the attitude to manifest itself into your life. “Thank you I can feel.” “Thank you for this awareness.” “Thank you for time to be and creating space to be.” Gratitude will not change your situation. What gratitude does is to help us experience more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve our health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities [2019 Update]

Join me on a two week gratitude challenge. For the next 14 days when you wake and and when you go to bed say something you are thankful. Write these down daily. At the end of the week read all 14 cards aloud. Take your breathes in between and notice a life being transformed into your Best Life yet.

Carpe Diem,

Gloria

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Really

I received a text today which  was surprising. The individual wrote an apology saying they let me down but the reason they let me down is because of the topic I kept bringing to the table. Really? I thought I was putting up with  that individual’s looping. That looping that keeps one stuck in a circular mental processing and challenges meta-cognition.

Meta-cognition is the capacity to think about what one is thinking. The prefrontal cortex is activated and problem solving, planning, awareness, learning and thinking is activated. Automatic thinking pauses ushering intentional thinking. Meta-cognition is similar to the Wise mind of the Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) world.

Individuals, more often than not, use either emotions or logic to dictate behaviors.  Emotions are not necessarily reflective of  the veracity of the situation; yet, they are reality of feeling in that moment. When solely going on emotions, which  are subjective, no regard is given to the reasonable way of understanding. Logic looks at fact without emotive sway keeping things black and white. Logic is objective and void of instinctive or intuitive perspectives. When Emotional thinking is merged with Logic thinking we birth the Wise mind. The Wise mind is the neurological balance of the limbic system (Emotional Mind)  and pre frontal cortex (Reasonable Mind).

Image result for dbt wise mind

As babies we are born with primary emotions of fear, happiness, sadness, and anger. As we grow secondary emotions, emotions that we learn from our primary caregivers are formed. Shame is an example of a secondary emotion which is rooted in one’s belief system. Examples of other secondary emotions are: disgust, guilt, embarrassment, and cynicism.

Just a note that for those of us who have experienced trauma, emotions  tend to get stuck in the psychological reaction of fight (Hyperarousal) or flight (Acute stress) response.

What does this have to do with the text? After calming down my limbic system through deep breaths and activating my Wise mind I was able to see from a different perspective. Yes, I had been ruminating on a specific topic; but, they had been engaging in the topic. My awareness is that they were operating with their emotional mind due to personal stressors.

I kindly responded to the text with empathy. I can’t say they recognized the type of emotion they put into play. I can say, that tonight I can go to sleep knowing that I”m not too much. That I am okay. That people go through stuff and often don’t  integrate the emotional and rational mind. I am more cognizant to use the Wise mind especially when I am texting and to always offer compassion because I have not walked not walked in their shoes.

Carpe Diem,

Gloria