Tag: Feelings

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Have you Been “COVID-ed”

And who has not has some interaction with COVID-19? According to the World Health Organization as of May 6th, 2020 the following countries haven’t reported any cases of COVID-19: Comoros, Lesotho, Turkmenistan, North Korea, Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tonga, Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Cook Islands, Nauru, Niue and Palau. The debate is out if these islands were mostly spared because the countries were quickly locked down, preventing travel and tourism. Hm… Take to mind no cases have been reported versus no reported cases. I enjoy debates (to the dread of ex’s) and often get accused of not giving direct answers. My job is to get us to think outside the box.

Even if North Korea has no reported cases everyone around the world, including North Korea, has been “COVID-19ed.” Daily we hear the word, COVID-19. We evidence the impact of the virus in seeing people wearing masks, stepping aside to others to pass, limiting human contact, and yes, even those that are openly rebelling against the virus and share a pint or two. My boyfriend schooled me that when we go to the store we go to buy not to shop. Gone are the days of pursuing the isles for the sale or tasting the grapes. The word COVID-19 is heard daily on the TV, in the news, in written print, in electronic print. We can’t escape its tentacles. With the abundance of auditory and visual COVID-19 stimuli how can help but be anxious or stressed?

So glad you asked or hopeful you thought about the question. Let’s get some background first. Our brains get hijacked. To be more specific our amygdala gets hijacked. The amygdala is where emotions are given meaning and attached to associations and responses to them (emotional memories). When sensing a threat our smoke detector goes off and automatically activates the fight-or-flight response. We are groomed by design to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat. You are not feeling anxious or stressed because you want to; it happens automatically. Let me repeat that, you don’t feel anxious, stressed, or afraid because you want to; no, your natural instinct to survive kicks in.

Our smoke detector goes off warning us something is up which then signals our neural pathway to our prefrontal cortex (PFC). The PFC gets the alarm and starts to shut down. When the PFC shuts down so does our orientation, our memories become skewed, our decision-making is compromised, and so does our access to multiple perspectives. I already stated, we don’t want to feel anxious, stressed, or with fear; it is an automatic response to survival. What we don’t want to do is to get stuck in the overwhelming emotion(s).

Emotions are neither good or bad. Emotions remind us we are humans. What are we to do in response to being COVID-19ed’? Offer ourselves compassion. We are living in unprecedented times. As our president said, “People have died that have never died before,” (thought I would add humor). Anxiety, Stress, and Fear are reminders that you are alive and are surviving. Thanks to neuroplasticity (Our brain capacity to adapt) we can alter the neuro pathways and ease the anxiety, stress, or fear.

COVID-19 may be prevalent in our world as a verb, let’s make it a noun. Ways to become de-COVID-19ed’: Listen to your favorite song, Dance when no one is watching, dance when they are watching, take a breathe break, go for walk, go for a run, watch nature, experience a sunrise, experience a sunset, make it point to be grateful for something each day. And stop being hard on yourself. Your amygdala has been activated; you are only human. Don’t ignore that truth just know it and live out your best life today. After all, we are only guaranteed the moment(s) we have now.

Carpe Diem,

Gloria

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Gratitude transformed into Salus Vita (My Best Life)

Gratitude. Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Gratitude is not simply an attitude; it is something that flows out of you from you. An attitude is a way of feeling or acting toward a person, thing, or situation. We can surmise that Gratitude has its roots in attitude; however, is cultivated by a feeling. This is where it gets tricky because feelings can lie to you and often do.

Feelings are an emotional state or reaction based on your subjective experiences. Our feelings don’t have to lie to us they are just doing their job. Our feelings are trying to protect us and are based on our previous experiences within the world we behold. Many things may produce a feeling response such as being in the moment, triggers from the past, worrying about the future, fantasies, not allowing ourselves to feel happy because we feel undeserving, paranoia, unresolved grief and pain, traumatic experiences, and the list goes on. There is no end to the amount of feeling (both positive and negative) that flows through our lives on a daily basis. How we can express gratitude in such a fallen world where feeling so often gets highjacked?

Slowing down the process. Don’t push away the negative feeling away simply notice the feeling without judgment. Shift into an attitude of gratitude then allow the attitude to manifest itself into your life. “Thank you I can feel.” “Thank you for this awareness.” “Thank you for time to be and creating space to be.” Gratitude will not change your situation. What gratitude does is to help us experience more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve our health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities [2019 Update]

Join me on a two week gratitude challenge. For the next 14 days when you wake and and when you go to bed say something you are thankful. Write these down daily. At the end of the week read all 14 cards aloud. Take your breathes in between and notice a life being transformed into your Best Life yet.

Carpe Diem,

Gloria

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Transforming my COVID Anxiety

Uncertainty is an inescapable part of life. At what point does uncertainty transform into Anxiety versus life transformation that brings on the “next” of our life’s journey? Anxiety is a response to perceived threat or danger which is felt by biochemical changes in the body that is supported by personal experiences that are undergirded by implicit and explicit memories. This memory bank stores up the feelings of the past which shapes anxiety into a feeling or augments the imagination of what might happen in the future. Does the difference between anxiety as a feeling versus anxiety as experience really matter?

Yes. It is the difference between feeling (being) and believing in that emotion. Feeling certainly is reminders that we feel although they may or may not be the truth. Try this ABCED technique for anxiety.

Attention: Sit with the anxiety and notice where you feel the emotion in your body. On a scale from 0 to 10 where 0 is no disturbance and 10 is the greatest disturbance. How does your anxiety scale? Now, notice where you feel the emotion in your body. How big does the emotion feel in that area of your body? Notice the intensity. Is there any warmth associated with where you feel it in your body? Is it a throbbing sensation or heavy lingering sensation? Just notice that sensation in your body without attaching a narrative. (Don’t give the anxiety a story. An example of attaching a story is telling yourself you feel this way because you might get COVID-19) . Notice the feeling in your body without justification. If it helps close your eyes. If not focus on the area in your body where you notice the emotion. Do this for about 2 minutes and take what I call 4/6/8 count breathes. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 6 seconds, and breathe out slowly for 8 seconds. Do another scale check and notice what has happened to the emotion in your body. Repeat if the scale has not dropped to a manageable number.

Believe? Is this Anxiety believable (Based on logic) or based on an automatic thought process (Images or mental activity that occur as a response to a trigger). Sometimes our thoughts happen so quickly that we fail to notice them. Automatic thoughts fall into the following categories: Arbitrary Inference, Overgeneralization, Dichotomous thinking, Selective Abstractions, Magnification, Minimization, Catastrophic thinking, or Personalization. For the purpose of CORONA Virus, I would venture we tend to Overgeneralize, Have dichotomous thinking, Selective abstraction, Magnification, and or Catastrophize.

Challenge: Challenge the believability of the thought. What is the bigger picture? How might I think about this if I were calmer? Finally, think about the following quotes: “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.” Epictetus. Don’t let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Don’t fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why it’s so unbearable and can’t be survived.” Marcus Aurelius.

Discount the unbelievable thoughts which have been debilitating. Visualize them float into the air like a hot air balloon. Each word takes float. Practice your 4/6/8 count breathing three times.

Experience peace instead of Anxiety. This peace is in being and beholding the liminal space. Letting go of what was and availing yourself to what is next. We are a resilient people. We are a resilient Nation.

COVID-19 has ushered in change and awakened feelings of anxiety which are par to the course. Although we cannot control the anxiety from occurring my hope is that each of us uses the ABCDE techniques to quell to the emotion of anxiety instead of allowing the emotion to dictate how we are going to live out the COVID-19 crisis.

Carpe Diem,

Gloria